Coding as a Single Dad
You hear all the time about single moms. Can you believe that there are also single dads? I am one of them. I have a 4 year old daughter and I code! This was not my original plan. Her mother left when she was just over 6 months old. I was left at home, to work, clean, cook 3 meals a day, entertain and everything else that comes with being a parent.
It can be done, the most important thing is a schedule. Build a doable schedule and stick to it as best as you can. I can promise you that this is the hardest challenge, sticking to the schedule. It is very easy to loose track of time coding, playing and relaxing. I have tried timers, alarms and nothing seems to be exact. I have learned to use the from this time to about this time to accomplish my daily tasks. When my daughter was younger it was easier, she mostly slept. Then she started crawling, walking and getting into everything. I took our furniture and boxed us in and that worked fine until she was able to climb over the furniture!
Here is an average day in my life. I wake up between 5am — 9am depending on the time I stopped working the night before. I plan breakfast, lunch and dinner, pull what needs pulled from the freezer, prep what needs prepped. Things like cutting tomatoes, fruits etc. I do this while my coffee is brewing. During this time I have my morning go go juice and answer emails, check my social media, and other things that have went on in the night. I get in 1 to 2 hours of coding at this time. When my daughter is wakes up. We have breakfast together, I think toss the dishes in the sink and we spend about an hour to two playing, or learning or some fun type activity.
Once she starts to entertain herself I begin my coding. I have found that putting on music, music you both like works great. She has her iPad (OMG) and other toys she plays with. I do limit her screen time, not as much as most people think I should. I keep thinking of how my mom used to tell me how the computer would rot my brain… Now I make living using a computer. This plays out until she gets hungry for lunch… Here comes the cant stick to times part. She eats when she is hungry, no need to force her to eat, if she’s not hungry she wont eat and I spend an hour or two trying to get her to eat instead of coding. This is where the morning prep comes in. I take out a paper plate, load it with fruits and veggies and let her munch on it until she asks for lunch. I normally get another hour or two coding this way. After lunch we head outside, so that involves a shower, doing her hair, most the time I just put it in a pony tail. I have a nice work table in the shade I use, and she plays while I code. Normal at this time I have about 4 hours total time coding. We will stay outside until after we have dinner. I love to bbq so most nights we have bbq. It is faster for me to get up and check the temp, flip etc than to go in to the house and cook. This also allows for her to keep playing, running around and burn up some of that endless energy. Cooking time is also a time we use to play together. We run around and destroy the evil dragons, catch unicorns and fly our jets around. We then sit by the fire pit and enjoy our dinner. Most days at this point I have 4 to 6 hours coding.
After dinner we head inside and she gets her shower, do her hair again and get her ready for bed. I then make another pot of coffee and sit down to code. I will put on a movie or music and most times she sits by me at my work table. I have found myself saying yes, ok and sure a lot and I do not really listen to the question! Wow does this make for some interesting moments… “Why is the blanket in the tub?”, “Why are you standing on the back of the sofa?”
Her answer most times is “Dad, you said yes!”
Then its bed time, my favorite time of the day! This is when I really get a lot of work done, depending on how tired I am, I try to get in 5 to 6 hours coding, learning or debugging at this time. When I get tired I carry her to bed and I crash out. Wake up and start again. It cam be done. Sure it’s easier with two parents, sure its easier to divide the daily stuff between two people. To be honest with you, I would not have it any other way. The time we get to spend together, the moments we share are priceless. I know one day she will think back on her childhood and know she had an awesome dad.
My best advice to you as a single parent, working at home… Stick with it, and some days its best to just close the laptop and enjoy the day. You can make up the time later that evening or the next morning.